A writer's Heart

She was drawn to him, to the monster, the demon with the sweet tongue. She was pulled like a magnet to his trap, she just couldn't control the need she had for him. The desires of seeing him, of having him around, the uncontrollable urge to be by his side; even if it wasn't going to be for long. She had always been aware that he didn't feel the same way; for him she was only the distraction to find when things got boring at home. Everytime she met him, her heart would shatter like glass over and over realizing he hadn't changed. He would always keep his perfect image, the good husband and father.  Actually deep down she once or twice desired to be her, meaning the wife, the woman who he deep down cared for, he never wanted to hurt her feelings, he protected that at whatever cost. His family that was untouchable, he kept the image he needed and he knew how. He was good, you could say a devil indeed. He might have said things weren't good at home, but he loved her, he...

I laid in my bed lost in thoughts.... The first thing that always came to me was, "Why did I kept having you around?" I have always known, you are like poison for me, the most poisonous thing I can have, because you kill little by little. Everytime you say something you destroy me a little more, you break the hopes I wish I could have with you. I have always known that you are a drug that kills silently, showing no physical sign but inside it's making everything collapse as time elapses. I know you think you make me have fun, but you're so wrong. I have no fun, I just go to you to escape my reality for a little while. You make me go numb and forget even if it's a few minutes, it helps me survive all the pain I have. I wish you could see beyond what I say, what I do and actually tried a little to care. I am aware I am nothing to you though, nothing more than a toy; I promise I am getting tired, I have really tried to keep you around to see a change, but I know bett...

It was one of those days you don't really like, a clear sky yet sadness around. The clouds looked too lonely even when surrounded. Those type of details you only see when you are not happy. The bright and radiant sun, shining every deep corner of darkness. One place its grace didn't reach, that exact spot where I sat on the corner of my bed. I had been wondering for many many weeks days, and hours if I had made the right choices. What was the difference between the person that slept beside me and myself. We smiled the same, ate the same food, watched the same movies, even heard the same music and sermons. We had been living under the same roof so long now, that I didn't realize when I became a stranger to my own self. I had waken up as usual, a new day, new opportunities right, well not for me; I had become too complacent that I was not ready for changes. That exact moment, I thought I could start to change, but when I saw him all that energy was gone. He looked so happy wi...

The question was where were you? She asked a thousand times, where? She cried herself to sleep, hoping you would hear her cries and finally come back. How wrong! You never meant to be there from the start. The time you needed her, she was the ideal queen to survive the chess game. Now the game was over, you had a new queen, one of your desire, found through the guilt you once felt. Pitiful, actually she despised the idea that she missed you. She had always known better, but she had personally blinded herself with the cloth of maybe this time it won't be the same. She knew, she saw it in every action you made, every choice, every little detail of your character. She wanted what wasn't meant for her, she wanted to hope you could at least see her. See her as who she was, see her weaknesses and strengths and help her grow, be by her side at least as a friend.  The point said was ridiculous, hoping! She knew and had always known how self centered and poisonous your were for her; yet...