a girl escaping reality.

-
I laid in my bed lost in thoughts....

The first thing that always came to me was, "Why did I kept having you around?"
I have always known, you are like poison for me, the most poisonous thing I can have, because you kill little by little. Everytime you say something you destroy me a little more, you break the hopes I wish I could have with you. I have always known that you are a drug that kills silently, showing no physical sign but inside it's making everything collapse as time elapses. I know you think you make me have fun, but you're so wrong. I have no fun, I just go to you to escape my reality for a little while. You make me go numb and forget even if it's a few minutes, it helps me survive all the pain I have. I wish you could see beyond what I say, what I do and actually tried a little to care. I am aware I am nothing to you though, nothing more than a toy; I promise I am getting tired, I have really tried to keep you around to see a change, but I know better. I know you only need me once in a while to feel your ego, the worse thing is I am always placing myself on a plate at your service, but that will soon be over. I promise. I just can't handle it anymore.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not everything leads to Love, sometimes it is not.

-
Sometimes it is for the best to gain distance just before it is too late. At the point before your heart takes the wrong path, because your emotions are speaking louder than your thoughts. You might really wonder what to do at this point. My answer would be, if you go through that path even if you gain some beautiful memories, there will be pain for all that illusion you are going to create. The next path might sound harsh, gain distance, maybe even cut off the friendship to a thinner line, these will make you grow and the suffering is less. At this point you haven't fallen in love with a person who only loves you as a simple friend. Not all attention means there is a love bond being created, sometimes it is just a persons way of being friendly. Don't mistake their kindness for interest and attraction to you. Be sure to understand that not because you like somebody, they have to view you in the same way.
Read more

The final stabs.

-
She knew she detached herself away, but it was for her own safety, her heart couldn't handle it anymore. That mere moment, she really hoped he would take a second, to show her he had cared at least a little; he didn't. It hurt, it really did, she only waited and waited, until she admitted to herself she was a fool. A fool to try to believe he once actually cared; she could see he was happy now and she wasn't even a memory anymore. He was too busy to realize that a girl who ran to protect herself ended broken once more. The saddest part is he would never know, she was gonna let all the tears wipe away the sadness she felt. At the end she needed to find strength to patch herself up and move on. The pain would eventually leave, only the scars to show the suffering felt. 😭
Read more

Changes

-
It was one of those days you don't really like, a clear sky yet sadness around. The clouds looked too lonely even when surrounded. Those type of details you only see when you are not happy. The bright and radiant sun, shining every deep corner of darkness. One place its grace didn't reach, that exact spot where I sat on the corner of my bed. I had been wondering for many many weeks days, and hours if I had made the right choices. What was the difference between the person that slept beside me and myself. We smiled the same, ate the same food, watched the same movies, even heard the same music and sermons. We had been living under the same roof so long now, that I didn't realize when I became a stranger to my own self. I had waken up as usual, a new day, new opportunities right, well not for me; I had become too complacent that I was not ready for changes. That exact moment, I thought I could start to change, but when I saw him all that energy was gone. He looked so happy wi...
Read more