A writer's Heart

It was never more than illusions and dreams; not goals, because it was unattainable. It would all fade away eventually, not even a trace would be left behind. Not a single connection, no hint, nothing. She was aware this had never been more than one of those temporary things that happen once in a lifetime to fill you with emotion but eventually fade away leaving just a memory of a once upon a time. She saw what would be the last view of direct contact to his mesmerizing eyes. She spoke with her heart in her hands, they were just a few feet away, but the real distance was already to much. He was there but his heart was on someone else, he spoke to her, but his desire was someone else. She recognized this, she smiled and eventually gave her last advice to him. She knew it was time to let go what she would never have, not even a little bit was ever hers. Once again she postured herself, smiled and for the last time saw him head down; she saw all the flashbacks that made her fall in love...

She was at your side, willing to lighten your darkest moments, because she didn't ever wanted you to feel alone. You gave your time to somebody else, someone you enjoyed more, someone that you preferred leaving her aside. The more her heart felt for you, the more she faded from your view. She finally realized she never even caught your sight, she was only the go to when you needed someone, actually she would have never fitted the person you wanted. She new it was all pointless, worthless and even if it destroyed her, she had to leave your side. The cruelest thing was you were totally fine with losing a person like her, because for you she was worthless. You wouldn't even realize she would leave, to be precise not have interest.

I gave up until the pain was too overwhelming, yet you never realized the emotions that drove me to suffer for so long.

They met again, she knew the day would soon come, after all it was inevitable. If your question is- Was she ready? The answer is a definite No. She would have just skipped the event to evade a face to heart confrontation. There was no going back though, she had to be there, everyone expected so and she was a people pleaser after all. She put on the best mask, a smile nobody would ever question; even so her heart trembled just to know she would see him once more. She didn't wear fancy, she would never compare herself to those who were in his view. She set her mind to not talking to him under no circumstance because she was terrified tears would fall faster than her words. She was still broken, time hadn't been enough yet, she so needed more time and she admitted her pain still controlled her. As she saw him from afar, she cried inside, the mask could dissimulate anything though. She could feel every emotion she had felt and how each was shattered by someone who would never care...

There's was knowledge of the answer all along, the fear of accepting she was never important to him sounded cruel in her mind. It crushed her, yet she felt she had no right to have this type of sadness. She didn't want to accept the facts, she wanted to hope, but she finally hit reality. He hadn't even noticed she had distanced away, or more precisely found no importance in letting her leave. He continued living life with that smile that made her heart ponder, that contagious energy that once made her jolly. He didn't had the faint idea, she had fallen in love in the wrong fairytale. His path was as if she had never existed, happiness, success and so many things with the people he truly cared for. Now she looked from afar, she felt the tears and once more broke into tiny pieces. She knew distance wasn't enough, she didn't want to ever see him again. It was for the best, her broken self had to patch itself up, clean the wounds and cure itself alone. Suddenly fla...